I am deciding to continue with my blog of rants, raves, mediocrities, and whatever may encourage my writing. I have not made an entry since my return from Paris. I assume it is due to the fear of not being able to entertain the [small amount] masses of people that visited my blog mainly made up of pictures from all over Europe, and the fear of not being able to live up to my experiences after I returned. I am going to attempt to strip myself of acceptable social standards and not be afraid to confront the judgments that may ensue.

Americorps, Peace Corps, Jobmonkey.com, Craigslist, TEFL, Tour guide jobs, Au pair: all entered into my toolbar or Google search. My considerations ranged from a guest relations job in Las Vegas, NV to a live in nanny position in somewhere, Connecticut. I looked for education based jobs listed for Americorps in Washington. Peace corps doesn't need me. TEFL in Vietnam [ILA] requires the same credentials as Peace Corps: college degree. Craigslist offered full time, entry level admin positions [in Dallas] and a variety of food/bev/hosp positions all over the nation. Websites with crowded pages deferred me from looking at tour guide jobs so that was put in last priority.

I searched listing after posting after eligibility requirements. I don't even know what I'm really looking for. I don't even care what state I may end up in or what kind of job I may be offered. I am the most flexible person for all of these "opportunities". I am willing to move, willing to work, willing to help. Not good enough.

It feels like I'm climbing a ladder that is set on fire with cobras on each rung and a large man pulling on my legs.
I am 22, a server in a restaurant, paying back school loans when I have yet to complete my college education [1 year left], attempting to save up money to go back to school, and living at home. The fire, cobras, and large man are a number of circumstances I have created for myself, but where is the water, snake charmer, and whatever it is that will keep the large man from pulling on my legs?